Dear Friends and Colleagues,
I keep a small silver moon by my bedside etched with
the words: Dreams are necessary to life. It was Anais
Nin who made that assertion and to whom I owe a debt of
gratitude for this important reminder of the beauty of
that essential part of our nature. Ordinarily we think
of dreams as something lovely, pleasant, or magical, but
“Necessary”? Think about it. Who would we be, what would
we do with our lives, without the benefit of our dreams?
Would the aspiring author begin the first page of her
story without the dream of a book? How would the medical
student survive years of arduous study, training, and
residency if not for the dream of becoming a doctor?
What makes young athletes, dancers, or musicians commit
to years of disciplined practice but the dream of
mastering their craft? Would we bother exchanging
wedding vows without the dream of a fulfilling marriage,
or invest in a child’s college education without the
dream of a promising future? Each painstaking step of
shopping for and preparing the holiday meal is made less
onerous and more pleasurable as we imagine a joyous
family feast deserving of a Norman Rockwell portrait.
Are dreams lovely? From time to time. Are they
magical? They can be. Are they necessary? Every time!
Unlike geese having but one direction to fly depending
on the time of year, through the combined gifts of
imagination, hope and free will, we are allowed to chart
our own courses in each dimension of our lives. In
making those choices, Nin didn’t say that dreams were
superfluous or some nice little addition – she reminds
us that they are essential, like oxygen is to the lungs,
like sun and water are necessary to the garden. In the
same way the ocean’s tides require the light of the moon
to move, the tides of a human life are changed and moved
by the light of our dreams.
As we face the myriad questions of our lives,
including who to love, where to live, what to study,
what work to do, what plan to make for retirement, the
heart of the matter is never about the particular
options in front of us. It’s not about Oregon,
Wisconsin, or Washington D.C. – it’s not about Nursing,
Law, or Computer Science. The crux of all important
choices we will ever make have everything to do with who
we want to be, who we hope to become, and what we dream
of giving to and receiving from the world. It is about
deciding what kind of life we want to live and blazing
that path from the light of our visions of ourselves and
our imaginings of what is possible. Without the dream,
how are we to discern the relative merit of our various
options? Chief Crazy Horse put it this way: “A very good
vision is needed for life, and man must follow it- as
the eagle seeks the deepest blue of the sky.” In that
spirit, here are a few things to keep in mind in
harnessing the power of our dreams so that we, too, may
journey as winged creatures soaring not into any empty
space, but in the deepest blue of sky.
1. Allow the hope of a worthy dream to replace
anxiety about the unknown.
Our lives are made of energy that is at all times
moving in some direction. Like an arrow shot from the
bow of our consciousness, our thoughts and energy will
go in the direction to which we point them. Point
ourselves in the direction of lack, loss and
all-the-ways-we-are-losers, no problem, that’s exactly
where our thoughts and energy will take us – into
greater lack, loss and loserdom. Pointing ourselves,
however, towards what is possible, where our potential
lies, and what we are passionate about, will bring our
thoughts and energy to the world of possibility,
potentiality and passion. Perhaps that is what, in part,
makes our dreams necessary to life – they give voice and
lend vision to the part of us that believes in tomorrow.
No matter where we are in life, the present moment
always brings us to the point at which the future
vanishes, each moment standing at the fresh edge of the
unknown. In considering the yet-to-come, we will set to
conjuring up possible scenarios. If our imagination is
not set on the task of building from hope, it busies
itself weaving a web of inner fears and doubt, blame and
excuse. How well we use our imaginations can be the
difference between meeting the future with hope or
despair. That’s where dreams should be encouraged to
have their say, lend us direction, and empower us with a
sense of control, focus and potential.
2. Consider the extent to which life is more of a
journey from dream to dream than it is from success to
success.
Carl Schultz suggests that “Dreams are like stars;
you will not succeed in touching them with your hands,
but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you
choose them as your guides, and following them until you
reach your destiny.” Once arrived, of course, we look to
the sky for new stars to guide our way.
We all know that traveling hopefully carries twice
the punch of arriving. Once we meet any destination, be
it vocational, spiritual, mental or emotional, we look
for the next one towards which we must travel. We never
rest long on our laurels. As soon as the Bachelor’s
Degree is earned, seeds of a Master’s Degree are
planted. Once the starter home is financed, dreams of
the larger home come into play. One election is barely
over and dreams for the next one are being discussed on
talk shows the following week. Before the dishes are
done and put away from one holiday meal, plans for the
next one are brewing. The human heart hungers for a
worthy horizon to head towards or it will set up a camp
for a long time and linger on the side of the proverbial
road. I believe that is as true for the collective heart
of a business, an agency, a town, or a nation, as it is
for us as individuals – we need the guiding star toward
which to journey.
3. Choose with discernment the dreams that are worthy
of our pursuit.
To the extent that what we imagine and desire today
will shape what our lives look like tomorrow, we need to
carefully select the dreams that we allow to become our
“guiding stars”. Napoleon Hill referred to dreams as the
touchstones of our character. Knowing what qualifies as
a “worthy” dream is as important as the dream itself. As
we consider the dreams guiding our choices and
decisions, we need to remain awake and attentive to what
they are “touching” in us. Are they big enough to
inspire our potential, deep enough to stir our passion,
and true enough to reflect our heart’s desire?
Is the dream of making a lot of money inspired by a
desire to get out of debt, to retire sooner and spend
more time with loved ones, or to be the one on your
block with the biggest, newest, and most high-tech toys?
Is the dream of owning a home about the need for
security, the next rung on the ladder of what society
says we should want, or is it about a lifelong dream of
feathering a nest? Only we can know for ourselves what
qualifies as a “worthy dream” based on our unique set of
values, beliefs and personal desires.
4. Know the difference between the worthy dream and
wishful thinking!
Where the dream worth pursuing helps us to harness
our power, idle fantasy stifles it. Through wishful
thinking we employ our creative imagination to escape
reality: “Hmmm, I wonder what it would be like to win a
million dollars … how cool it would be to ‘get
discovered’ and be made famous… what if my home was
chosen for Extreme Makeover!” These kinds of daydreams
make for great fun in the moments we are transported
from reality to the romantic and exciting worlds of our
imaginations, but unfortunately, they are always
followed by the voice urging us to “wake up and smell
the coffee”. The worthy dream, on the other hand,
engages our creative imagination not to escape reality,
but to transform it! A true dream is a creative
awakening of our powers. As a vision of what is
possible, it serves to tap our energy, excitement and
initiative. Not only does the worthy dream not lull us
to sleep, it’s what keeps us up late and gets us up
early!
5. Allow the worthy dream to be broader and more
expansive than a goal!
The dream worth pursuing speaks to an overall vision
of what we might do or be … not getting stuck in the
particulars of a goal. Where a goal is about achieving a
particular outcome, the dream is about creating the
context or circumstances in which goals may be achieved.
A dream opens us to the powers of creative expression,
welcoming a variety of ways in which it might be
achieved. Pursuit of a dream to travel the world may
manifest itself through a job that allows extensive
travel, volunteer work with a worldwide agency, or
dedicated planning and saving for trips made throughout
a lifetime. The dream to affect the lives of inner-city
youth may manifest itself in the creation of an inner
city youth program, the writing of a book for teachers
working with youth, or a career bent on exposing the
effects of urban poverty on the lives of young people.
I am all for the power of setting specific and
measurable objectives upon which to focus one’s time and
energy. Goal-setting, however, does not replace the
necessity for the larger dream that gives meaning and
purpose to those goals, provides flexibility in how the
dream might be met, and inspires us to search, seek and
grow. As Robert Browning reminds us, “Our reach should
exceed our grasp, or what’s a heaven for?"
6. Pursue the dream that feels essential enough to
stir the soul!
There is a wonderful teaching story about a Zen monk
and a student who were walking along a river bank when
the student asked, “How will I know when what I seek is
worthy of my pursuit?” The master abruptly took hold of
the student, pulled him into the river and held his head
under water as the student thrashed about trying to free
himself of the master’s grip. Just at the perilous point
of drowning, the master released the student who gasped
for air. The master asked, “What were your thoughts as I
held you under the water?” The student replied, “At
first, 10,000 things – but in seconds, all I could think
of was air.” The master smiled saying, “When you have
that same intensity for what you desire, you will know
it is worthy of your pursuit.”
When the dream we long for is as essential as air to
the lungs, we commit, and in that commitment, everything
changes! But for the dream to be worthy of that
commitment, it needs to speak to our spirit and awaken
our deepest longings. The worthy dream must carry
meaning for us in the truest sense, be consistent with
the values we hold dearest, and resonate with who we are
at our very essence. In the words of the great poet
Johann van Goethe, “What has not burst forth from your
own soul will never refresh you.”
7. Hold fast to the ability to dream new dreams.
The worthy dream has to be born of our own heart’s
desire – not someone else’s dream for us. We also need
to remain open to the possibility (probability?) that
what we have done all our lives may not be what we have
to do the rest of our lives, and what we always wanted
may not be what we will always want! But we can only be
true to ourselves by keeping our dreams alive. Heeding
the warning in the Australian Aboriginal proverb, “Those
who lose dreaming are lost”, when one dream dies, we
must dig down deep for the seeds of another.
Throughout the years of my experience working as an
employment counselor with people facing myriad problems
and multiple barriers, I became convinced that the depth
and breadth of their hopes was far more a determining
factor in their vocational success than any life
circumstance they may have been facing. Without the fire
and focus that hope brings, we do not move at all. We
walk in circles. Poet and author, David Whyte, put it
this way in the opening lines to his poem, entitled
Sweet Darkness, “When your eyes are tired, the world is
tired also. When your vision is gone, no part of the
world can find you.” When one is low on hope, one is low
on possibility.
Surely there are multiple reasons why we lose hope
and the capacity to dream from time to time. We have all
experienced pockets of life that were empty of dreams,
when we could not smell or taste or feel very much, when
the world appeared in black and white. It is at those
times that we must cling to the faith that hope will
surface again, in its own sweet time. In those times, we
must let those who love us and who have not given up
hope for us, carry our torch. And, in better times, we
must be ready to carry the torch for others.
Writer Kent Nerburn asks the beautiful question, “Did
the first bird fly because it dreamed of sky?” In human
terms, does not the most beautiful and potent power of
the soul lie in its ability to dream and, thereby,
influence its destiny? I invite you to engage your
dreams in a creative exercise using The Dream Inventory
below, allowing yourself the time and permission to
explore your dreams. In a future newsletter we will
explore how we can be truer to our dreams rather than
waiting for our dreams to come true for us. In the
meantime, may we have the courage to allow even the
tiniest, most remote star of a worthy dream, to guide
us, to stir the hidden power of our hearts, as we
journey through a life of confidence and beauty.
Here’s to “seeking the deepest blue of sky”, ~ Denise
© Denise Bissonnette, November 2005 (If not used for
commercial purposes, this article may be reproduced, all
or in part, providing it is credited to "Denise
Bissonnette, Diversity World - www.diversityworld.com."
If included in a newsletter or other publication, we
would appreciate receiving a copy.)
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