Dear Friends and Colleagues,

Happy September! As many of you know, I write new articles every other month, using the “leap month” to respond to questions and comments from past articles and suggest ideas in preparation for those upcoming. This is a leap month! For those of you who did not get a chance to read last month’s issue entitled, “Courting Contentment as a Loyal Companion: In Good Times and In Bad”, you can follow the link below.

Dear Denise, the message of this month’s newsletter came at just the right time for me as I was beginning to get discouraged in my job search and allow myself to wallow in self-pity, which of course, is never productive. What I remembered is that this transition that I am going through, as difficult as it is, is just that – a transition! It is not my whole life, nor will it even be remembered as a significant part of my life – it is only a matter of time before I find an opportunity to put my skills back to work. In the meantime, I need to focus on what is going right in my life so that I can stay positive and optimistic. After all, no one ever got hired by being pessimistic and I think people can smell negativity a mile away! I look forward to your newsletter every month – thank you for the ongoing inspiration! - Springfield, Illinois
 

Developing the ability to “pull focus” in big and little circumstances of our daily lives is as useful and essential a skill as I can imagine in our attempt to bring hope, faith and optimism in the face of the unknown. I think that’s why I love all forms of art - it is the gift of the artist to pull focus on the mysteries of living and bear witness to their underlying beauty. When bowed under from the burdens of life, we need the reverence of artists, poets, musicians, and gifted film makers to help us find meaning in the mundane. Likewise, spending time in the wild or in nature causes us to “pull focus” in a unique way. I don’t know about you, but I find it really difficult to wallow in my worries about tomorrow or to persist in my concerns of the day when walking in a forest, standing at the ocean’s shore, or picking pumpkins in a wild patch of orange.
 

Denise, in response to the question posed in your newsletter, “What helped you get through difficult times in your life”, I reflected on a period of deep depression in which I came close to taking my own life. In part, what saw me through that time was finding a place where I could go when all seemed lost, to find my spirit again. For me it was a room in our basement which I made into my own sanctuary, surrounding myself with pictures of nature, lighting small candles, and playing classical music that I grew up listening to as a child. Retreating to this space which I considered “sacred” was a true life saver for me. Please feel free to share this just in case it helps other readers of your newsletter who are going through a dark time. - Job Developer in Hartford, Connecticut
 

This discussion brought back my own memories of retreat. I remember as a young girl when I was going through a difficult time, retreating regularly to a creek bed in a nearby park. I came to know in my own intimate and solitary way the weeds and trees that grew in the particular area where I sat upon a rock, and contemplated the water, the rocks, and the wide canopy of sky. Retreating to this private place brought me great solace, and in the solitude, restored enough of my sensibilities to reenter the world with more security and serenity. (Interestingly enough, the first poem I ever shared with the world was about that place by the creek – it was in my 6th grade English class, and my teacher, Mr. Pighini, pulled me aside and whispered in my ear, “Follow that voice, my dear – there are riches there.”) Here I am, almost four decades later, reading, learning and writing about ideas which I intuitively knew and followed at twelve years old. How many of us as children knew the meaning of “sacred space” in a way our adult selves have forgotten or cannot relate?

Not everyone has the privilege or the luxury of having an actual “space” where they can be alone. Part of the beauty and power of the imagination, however, is that it can take us anywhere we wish, at will. Sometimes when I am feeling cramped and uncomfortable aboard a small airplane, I close my eyes and imagine that I am sitting at the foot of a great Cypress tree that sits on the edge of the ocean in Santa Cruz (which I referred to as Father Tree). Everyone has been somewhere that touched them in a way no other place has. With the memory of that place, we have the ability to return there, if even in our imagination. Rather than waste our imaginations conjuring up ill-fated scenarios, what if we used that beautiful power to conjure up images of those places which bring us peace and joy?
 

Dear Denise, Thank you for reminding me that what truly makes me happy at my core are the riches of my life that are available to me each and every day – greeting my wife and children in the morning, looking out at the growing things in my yard, having a job in which I am able to serve the community and make changes in people’s lives. Although I am an overworked, underpaid social service worker, your article made me feel like a very rich man. - Calgary, Alberta
 

I have heard some wonderful responses to this question over the years, many of them giving others in the workshop pause as we begin to see just how much we take for granted. Most people’s list will include physical health, family, friends, and various work or educational opportunities. Peruse this list of responses I have heard over the years and consider for yourself if you haven’t overlooked some of your own riches:

- The memories of my childhood;

- Having many wonderful mentors in life;

- Having been born in a country of freedom and democracy;

- Giving birth to a healthy child;

- My language and cultural heritage;

- The lessons I have learned through my life experiences;

- My love of music (gardening, cooking, marital arts, movies, etc…) and the joy it brings me;

- The changing of the seasons and the special pleasures each one brings;

- The fact that I don’t have to hide my religious convictions, my political views, or my sexual orientation;

- Being born in a day in age when there is medication and assistive technology to aid me in living comfortably with my disability;

- Being of sound mind with the ability to reason, understand, and grow mentally and intellectually; and,

- The gift of my senses with which to experience the world.

Obviously, this list only scratches the surface. We have so much to be grateful for with regard to our health, our relationships, our community, our passions and interests, the opportunities availed to us, and the numerous gifts of the earth that is our home. Beyond that, however, we have so much more to be grateful for in relation to misfortune that has eluded us, circumstances we have been fortunate enough to escape. An important aspect of being part of human community is not only having compassion for those who suffer on account of illness, poverty, accidents, natural disasters and the travesty of war, but realizing to the bone that “There, but for the grace of God, go I”. In that way we bring down the walls of false security and the illusion of “otherness” that would keep us from true compassion and the social activism it would inspire. Below this month’s Poem of the Month, I am offering a popular sharing of statistics that has been out on the web for a few years. I am calling it “Reality Check” – may it strike you as deeply and profoundly as each rendering of it continues to strike me!

Let us welcome this season of the harvest with a deep sense of thanksgiving for all of the blessings we enjoy as well as those to which we remain oblivious, although no less blessed even for our lack of awareness.

~ Denise

© Denise Bissonnette, September 2006 (If not used for commercial purposes, this article may be reproduced, all or in part, providing it is credited to "Denise Bissonnette, Diversity World - www.diversityworld.com." If included in a newsletter or other publication, we would appreciate receiving a copy.)

I chose this month's poem, "Passengers" by Billy Collins, because I thought it was an outstanding example of "pulling focus" in an important way. We are, after all, fellow passengers on this spaceship Earth - together on this most fragile and miraculous journey.
 

1. What are some the ways you have of “pulling focus” when you need to gain perspective in trying situations? How do you assist other people (clients, family and friends) to “pull focus” when they need to?

2. Where do you go when you need to retreat from the world or get some respite from your worldly concerns? If you do not have such a place, where might you create or develop a “sacred space”?

3. Take a few minutes to draft a list of ways in which you feel immensely wealthy in your life, for which you would not exchange all the money in the world. Share your list with other people and compare notes.

4. Take the opportunity to have your class, job club members, or members of a support group to share their own list of how they feel deeply blessed. It is a wonderful way to send them back into the world with fresh hope and gratitude! Consider sharing “Reality Check” with those who you suspect are seeing their glass as half empty rather than half full.

5. To all of you Canadians, enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving on October 9th! To all of you Americans (and other readers from around the world), don’t wait until the end of November to begin your season of Gratitude!

What advice, tips or suggestions do you have for breaking down the barriers of communication between those that deliver services in a social services, vocational or educational environment, and those who are on the receiving end of those services?

Denise has published several important works on topics of job development, career development, personal development and similar topics. She also has two video-based in-service training programs available. Please visit our online store, Diversity Shop, for more information on these and related products.

Four of Denise Bissonnette’s most popular items are included in this package – The Wholehearted Journey (Book and CD), 30 Ways to Shine as a New Employee, and Beyond Traditional Development. Buy them as a set and save!

Mandan, ND * Spearfish, SD * Casper WY * Montreal, QC * Albany, NY * Edmonton, AB * Visalia, CA * Los Angeles, CA * Miramichi, NB

Previous editions of the "True Livelihood Newsletter" are archived on our website.

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